no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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