Non-Jews are for practice
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
