Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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I intend to get homeless drunk
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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