remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
