dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize