i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
