Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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