dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
They have beer where we have blood.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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