'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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