I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
