everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
