It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize