Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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