Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
