I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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