This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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