forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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