Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
