I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
BRING THE BAGELS
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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