Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
