I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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