How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
