She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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