he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize