Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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