I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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