Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Randomize