So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
