Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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