You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
