I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize