then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
