Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
