i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
