wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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