You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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