At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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