I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
