I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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