No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
