Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
