My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
