Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize