eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
