mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Michael Bay diarrhea
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
