I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
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The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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