I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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