i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
