the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
