Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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