how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I met the friendliest cop last night
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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