I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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