Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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