you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize