My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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