i think my tv is drunk
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
