Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
