Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
