hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
